Today has been nice.
I have spent the day at home baking, an apple and blackberry crumble and some rock cakes with raspberry jam, I’m such a fat piece of shit, I don’t care though. I’M ON A BINGE!
I plan to get back into the gym with in the next week, I need to. Since the start of the year, I have managed to shift two and a half stone of relationship weight. I was always super skinny and people always told me “you should eat more” or “Gain more weight” but I was happy, and then I got into a long term relationship… I felt content and happy, and so the pounds kept piling on. I know a few stone isn’t the worst thing, but, I consistently had a voice in my head saying “BECOME THE SIZE OF A WHALE” which is fine, but it really isn’t a healthy or a smart choice. In April of this year, I decided enough was enough and I stopped eating processed crap and started to make better choices, did I need that extra serving? No. I even started going to the gym regularly, only jogging, but I couldn’t run for longer than 30 seconds at a time at the start, now I am running 10 minutes at a time, it may sound like a short while for some, but I am really proud of myself for that. I am proud of myself for that. (I wanted to emphasise a positive, so I said it twice)
Back to today.
Lola was creeping for her afternoon walk, so we do. We are walking down the road minding our own business, and out of a bush falls something, Lola picks it up but she drops it as we keep walking. It is a baby bird. OH MY GOD! WHAT DO I DO?! STRESS STRESS STRESS. I decide to keep walking Lola so she can’t get to it anymore, I take her home and then come back to see if it is still alive, if it is I can take it home and, fingers crossed, nurse it back to health. I get to where she dropped it, nowhere to be seen. I am starting to spiral, HOW COULD I LET THIS HAPPEN!? Once I get home I relay what happened, in my head, and I think I come to the conclusion, Animal nature is sometimes unavoidable. I can’t blame myself for what happened and I can’t blame Lola for doing what dogs do, she is one of the most gentle loving dogs I have ever met (Every dog owner says the same thing, I am telling the truth though), but, she is still a dog. Once I have calmed down, Ollie comes home and I tell him what happened. To cheer me up, we go out for dinner.
What a bloody mistake that was. We stupidly went to a Chinese buffet, every time we go there we are disappointed, we keep giving it one more chance though. This time was no better. The food was badly cooked and tasted like shite.
After our terrible meal, we go to the cinema, to watch Dunkirk…STRESS STRESS STRESS
A 10/10 film, I would urge everybody to go and see this, It is so well made. Christopher Nolan has, pretty much, perfected movie making, and he bashes out another cracker with this one. I really think it is important that people go to watch this film, it tells the story in such a relatable way, a harrowing experience to endure the angst and tension with the men on screen. The acting is top notch (even Harry Styles). If you go to watch this film, let me know what you think.
After such a Stressful day (talk about privileged first world problems, I hate myself for even discussing this) I am in bed watching That 70’s Show, so I can switch off my brain before bed. Enjoy your day, I hope it goes better than mine.